Ignoring People & Forgiveness: Why Ignoring People Doesn’t Really Solve Anything

Ignoring People & Forgiveness: Why Ignoring People Doesn’t Really Solve Anything

Time To Face The Issue- “Forgiveness”

No more running, let’s talk about this. The fact that many people consider this to be a reasonable way to deal and heal is mind-blowing, and believe it or not, a lot of people in real life go this route. It is not a light decision- there are subjective and objective consequences to pretending like someone doesn’t exist and ignoring them. Are there reasonable circumstances where you are warranted the right to completely ignore someone and pretend like they don’t exist?…. Sure, but the circumstances are very far and few in between.

In fact, I can only think of one legitimate circumstance and that’s If someone, not close to you and never has been, is intentionally trying to hurt you: emotionally, physically or mentally. I am not talking about this particular circumstance and everything I say excludes this situation as that is the only way to ensure that this type of energy is removed from your life.  But, ( there is a but) it doesn’t apply if in your mind you think this is what’s happening but in reality, you are blowing things way out of proportion out of fear. You cannot pretend this is the reality to satisfy your guilt over making the decision to remove someone from your life and end any and all communication.

The reality is that most people who ignore someone who is trying to make peace are dealing with their own emotional issues, or better yet NOT dealing with their emotional issues. No one person who has a relatively high emotional IQ can pull such an act off, especially for long periods of time. Emotionally aware people understand that you can’t “run from a problem” or “pretend it doesn’t exist”. This is a fundamental law of energy and law for human life. Both of these methods for dealing with internal and external problems will most likely lead you to a very unhealthy place in your life.

I get it, I can put myself in these peoples shoes for a moment… even though it is uncomfortable and will surely cause me a lot of pain if I stay in these shoes too long.  These people feel hurt, they feel betrayed and they just can’t find the means to forgive and make peace. I can hear some of you right now- ” Well just because I ignore someone and pretend like they don’t exist doesn’t mean I haven’t forgiven them, I just don’t want them in my life”- Let’s be real, that is exactly what it means. If you cannot talk to someone and do your best to make peace and squash it, whatever it is, especially if they are trying to reach out and make peace, then you have not truly forgiven them and more importantly you have not truly dealt with the issue. It takes two to heal.

Why It Is Unhealthy For the Person Doing The Ignoring

1. Again, you cannot run from a problem or pretend it doesn’t exist by pretending someone doesn’t exist anymore. You have to deal with it and make peace… it’s the only way. You cannot cut corners. Not only will your emotional body bring it out in other situations until you step up and do it, but your emotional body will not let it go until you have made peace with that person. This only hurts you more as time marches on, I promise.  If you learn to deal with issues this way you will continue to create unhealthy relationships within your life and continue the unhealthy habit of running from and ignoring your problems. This is a sure way to halt your growth as a human being and create a lot of friction within your internal and external life.

2. Let’s be honest, it might be hard to admit to yourself if this has ever been you or is you… You are doing it to hurt the other person; it is a spiteful action to take. While you feel like you are getting them back, I can assure that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. This is the law of karma- it is very real. Nothing is more hurtful or hateful than ignoring someone. If someone is trying to make things right and you continue to be spiteful, this energy will follow you and surely come back to you in some way, shape or form at some juncture in your life. What you put out will come back to you. If you are love, compassion and forgiveness you will attract that energy; if you are spiteful and angry that energy will surely follow you.

Having an enemy, because in many ways that is what it is, is tiring and it’s unnecessary. I have had them when younger and I have squashed it with a lot of them, as many as I could and I can assure you it takes a real verbal conversation or exchange of loving energy by both parties to do so. It is not something you can do in your mind overtime by yourself, why?…. because the energy will still exist for other person and we are all connected, as you are too energetically connected with your enemies.

Sometimes people choose to do this not only to be spiteful, but because they have such intense emotions connected with the person that it becomes overwhelming for them to deal with it head on. This means you have a lot of issues to deal with and issues to get over in connection with this person. Again, you can only move forward with strength if you move forward with courage and there is no cutting corners, you have to face your emotions and your fears.. reach out and make peace, have a conversation. It is the only road to any real emotional and energetic freedom in the long run, even if it is extremely difficult in the moment.

Why It Is Unhealthy For the Person Being Ignored

1. This person is trying to release this negative energy and move on in a positive and healthy way. No one wants enemies and someone who is trying to make peace understands this better than most. They want to squash it, they want to be free from this energy and it takes two to fully do so. There have been a lot of studies talking about forgiveness and its reasons and benefits. The person being ignored does not absolutely need the forgiveness to eventually move forward positively and release the energy for themselves, but they will always be able to still feel the energy coming from the other party and it is a nuisance, to say the very least, so in some ways they can’t fully let it go.

2. When you ignore someone this only causes them to feel worse about themselves and you actually burden them with an energy they probably don’t deserve. Whether they made no mistake or they made a major or minor mistake they are trying to make it right. This energy can become consuming. You know on both sides that the issue has not been dealt with if you start to have dreams or continue to have dreams about the situations. While I cannot get into other peoples heads and know for sure, I am quite positive that people who ignore someone that they have a lot of emotions and unresolved energy with will have a lot of dreams about the person. This is the subconscious mind trying to work through and deal with the problems because you aren’t dealing with the issues in your day-to-day life ( the ignorer) or you can’t deal with it because you are being ignored ( the ignoree).

In the end it’s all about love. Whether this is someone you once loved, still love or a friend you care about a lot you have to forgive and make peace. Life is short, life is filled with negative and positive. Choose to live in the positive, choose to attract positive energy into your life: choose love over hate, choose courage over fear, choose peace over conflict…. choose these things no matter what unique circumstance you find yourself in- learn the lesson, make peace and move forward stronger than you ever have- we need more love between each other. We have enough man made separation and isolation as it is.

I am human I have made mistakes, but I am a human,

I am human I deserve love, forgiveness and chances, because I am human.

We all do.



Add yours
  1. 1

    Thank you for expressing this because I needed help and this is a great one. I was currently ignoring 2 of my best friends because of what they’ve done to me and I think I began to feel guilty of what I’ve done to them, of giving them the silent treatment. I didnt even know why I did it because I’m not one to hold a grudge on someone unless they did something unforgivable but I thought about what they did after I read all of this and I think I’ve forgiven them because we were just fighting all because of jealousy . Although, I’m not really ready to face and apologize them because of the situation we were in. I thank you for the help.

  2. 2

    You have an amazing gift to express from your heart and soul – the Truth. My husband of 25 years who divorced me without any warning immediately stonewalled me ( silent treatment)
    ever since, that was eighteen months ago. We have two sons aged 21 and 18. It is incredibly painful to the three of us left behind. In your words and thoughts, you point out that my trying to make peace and admitting my own mistakes, he seems to be enjoying. I try to contact him less and less and one day I hope to have reached my own acceptance. It is the most cruel inhumanity toward another supposedly loved for so many decades. Thank you so much for sharing your insights.

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